In my last blog, I shared that generations of men have had to mentor themselves into manhood, most these men like yourself if asked, haven’t a clue what healthy intimacy is. It wasn’t mentored, modeled, or even talked about during your formative years. Therefore much of your knowledge regarding intimacy has been caught, not taught.
However, as I’m sure you will agree what men catch from our sexually saturated culture is everything but authentic or healthy intimacy. Yet when asked, most men, like you long for true intimacy. Your deepest desire is to truly know a woman and your loved ones intimately! You long to be intimately known by your wife, your children, or a close friend.
So what is authentic, healthy intimacy?
Great question, because if you don’t know what healthy intimacy is, how do you know when you’ve got it? Furthermore, if you don’t know what healthy intimacy is how can you nurture and grow it? Frustrating isn’t it?
So let me help you to discover and define the five pillars of authentic, healthy intimacy:
- Closeness: This means that you intentionally allow your wife or loved one total access to your heart. It means holding nothing back to those whom you truly trust. This type of closeness is reserved for only a very few people.
- Privacy: This means that you diligently protect what is shared only by the two of you. Intimacy thrives on privacy and is destroyed when you violate this healthy boundary. Privacy protects and builds trust.
- Affection: This means choosing to freely give love and receive love freely. It means that your love is always unconditional and never withheld as a form of punishment or manipulation.
- Acceptance: This means loving them for who they are, just as they are. You’re not trying to change them into who “you” think they can be. Your acceptance is unconditional, now and forever.
- Openness: This means intentionally being transparent and vulnerable. Your transparency and vulnerability demonstrate that you trust them with your heart and your hopes.
All of these must be active and alive to experience authentic, healthy intimacy. They are inseparable; each one depends upon the other. This is the key to what authentic, healthy intimacy is.
This is just the beginning. Developing the art of healthy intimacy within your relationships will take time, determination, and direction. In my upcoming blogs, I will continue to break down the five avenues for expressing and receiving authentic, healthy intimacy which is social, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical (non-sexual) intimacy.
I hope today’s blog has encouraged you. Make sure you sign up to receive blogs posted every Tuesday and Thursday. TransformingFamilies.org resources are designed to guide you through the restoration process of developing your heart, mind, and strength, enabling you to become the man God created you to be.
I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you want to improve your relationships, let’s connect through e-mail at ‘email@example.com’. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed man.