“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start now and make a brand new ending.”
Congratulations! You’ve been diligent in your efforts to develop a whole new healthier way of believing, thinking, and feeling about yourself. The work of forging and transforming a healthier you can be exhausting at times, but it is well worth it.
However, it’s also important to take time to recognize and measure the progress you’ve made.
You can get so busy “becoming” a healthier man that you can miss the benefits and blessings along the way. One way to do this is to use mile markers. Mile markers are self-reflective statements that you can use to verify that you’re still on course. Be objective, but not overly critical. Recognize and celebrate your progress.
Here are some recommended “mile marker” statements. Using a 1-10 rating scale (1 being very poor progress and ten being better than expected progress); rate your progress for each statement. Remember; be objective but not overly critical:
- You are purposely working at developing and maintaining healthy intimate relationships. Your family and close friends would agree that your relationships with them are measurably better.
- You are no longer the one who is always giving. You allow others to give to you or care for you.
- You’ve reduced or eliminating the need to be in control of a relationship.
- You are not afraid to let someone into the hallways of your heart. You are becoming more transparent, better able to share your innermost thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, and dreams.
- Your learning how to trust people, especially those close to you. You’re not trying to rush it. You know that developing genuine trust requires truth, time, and testing.
- You’ve stopped trying to manipulate people to get what you want. Your word is your bond. Your yes means yes, and your no means no.
- You’re purposely developing a new healthy moral compass. You are working with a trusted healthy friend or coach to develop a new health moral compass. You have a clear understanding of what it means to be a healthy man. Remember healthy men develop healthy intimate relationships.
- You’re growing in your ability to give and receive genuine love and affection. You know what real love feels like and allow others to genuinely love you.
- You have become less self-destructive, cruel, argumentative, and hostile toward others. Moreover, your family, friends, and co-workers notice the difference.
- You are purposely developing greater self-control – becoming less impulsive, especially when it comes to getting into a new relationship.
- You’ve stopped being superficially charming in an effort to hide your flaws, failures, and fears. You’ve stopped wearing masks to disguise who you are.
So, how did you do? Take time to celebrate your progress with family and friend. Thank them for their encouragement and support. Then begin developing a plan to work on strengthening the areas that you need to grow in.
Remember, “What comes easy won’t last. What lasts won’t come easy.” Measuring your “mile markers” helps you to see yourself as you truly are. You can be a healthy man who is approachable, open, and able to develop deep, abiding intimate relationships with those you love.
I hope today’s blog has encouraged you. Make sure you sign up to receive blogs posted every Tuesday and Thursday. TransformingFamilies.org resources are designed to guide you through the restoration process of developing your heart, mind, and strength, enabling you to become the man God created you to be.
I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you want to improve your relationships, let’s connect through e-mail at ‘firstname.lastname@example.org’. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed man.