According to the ancient philosopher Aristotle, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” Aristotle based his conclusion on the observation that nature requires every space to be filled with something, even if that something is colorless, odorless air.
This vacuum of healthy masculine mentors or role models has given rise to mythical manhood stereotypes perpetuated by unhealthy men and the media. They pursue sexual gratification, or what I call “rogue intimacy,” as the highest form of relational intimacy.
What is rogue intimacy? Rogue Intimacy is when a man believes that intimacy can only be experienced through sexual gratification. He uses how often he has sex as his primary measure of love and being loved. Ignorant of intimacy’s vast virtues, he continues to value sex above all else. His pursuit for intimacy has gone “Rogue.”
This unhealthy masculine culture has become a broken moral compass, which glorifies his aggressive, competitive, and dominating nature. The very kind of men portrayed and popularized in our media, which only perpetuates the myth of the “self-made man.” This glorification compels men to lead lives of isolation, void of meaningful intimate relationships.
So how do we re-calibrate masculinity’s moral compass? How do we re-forge, restore, and redefine healthy masculine intimacy for this generation? Here are some of the steps recommend by many who are providing guidance to men in developing a healthy moral compass:
- Start by challenging, re-forging, and transforming what men believe about themselves. “You will never change the way a man behaves until you change the way he sees himself”
- Less focus on competing with other men and greater focus on a courageous commitment to caring, companionship, and commitment to being the healthiest man possible.
- Educate and encourage men to manage the media in their lives and be mindful of their efforts to influence.
- Educate, encourage and equip men to develop a healthy moral compass that teaches them to be virtuous, unselfish, humane and healthy.
- Re-define healthy intimacy that enables men to forge healthy intimate relationships that last a lifetime
This proverb still holds a timeless truth: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Fortunately, there are grassroots organizations and groups who are reaching out to men and boys worldwide. Organizations like Strong Fathers, Strong Families, https://www.strongfathers.com/ out of Texas, to The RIDGE Project, http://theridgeproject.com/ in Ohio, K21 Men, https://k21.men/ in Pennsylvania, and our work at Unbreakable Bond, Unbreakablebond.org, are mentoring organizations who are teaching and encouraging men to develop a healthy moral compass. A moral compass guided by the belief that you can become a caring, courageous, creative, courteous, man of character. Exactly what our world needs right now.
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I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you’re wanting to improve your relationships, let’s connect through e-mail at ‘email@example.com’. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed man.