Healthy masculine intimacy is so foreign to our society that we don’t have adequate language to describe the need, benefit, and profound influence that masculine relationships are to the mental and emotional health of boys and men.
We use words like “bromance,” which is often spoken as a slur or sarcastic criticism when we encounter men whose relationships are friendlier than “normal.”
Webster’s Dictionary defines bromance as a close nonsexual friendship between men.
The Urban Dictionary adds to this by defining bromance as describing the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.
Describing healthy masculine intimacy as “complicated” meaning: difficult to analyze, understand, or explain, consisting of many interconnecting elements; intricate or involving many different aspects reveals the untapped potential that healthy masculine relationships are for men. Moreover, using the word “complicated” shows society’s ignorance of how much harm the generational myth of the “self-made isolated man” has had and continues to have upon the hearts of boys and men.
How do we change this? First, by educating how, vital masculine relationships are to the emotional health of men. Recent research reveals that having intimate masculine relationships is the way boys and men are wired from birth. Secondly, it is by modeling and mentoring healthy intimate relationships between men. Thirdly, by changing the definition of what it means to have a healthy intimate masculine relationship. And while we’re at it, by creating a language that portrays the positive potential that healthy masculine intimacy has in the lives of boys and men, words like “Valiantly Intimate Masculinity.”
Valiantly Intimate Masculinity defined as men who courageously develop and exhibit an unwavering friendship grounded by a deeply devoted love and nonsexual affection with family, friends and other like-minded men.
Valiantly intimate men strive to be in all of their relationships:
- Emotionally transparent
- Intellectually guided
- Socially respectful
- Spiritually grounded
- Physically affirming
Valiant Men courageously develop and exhibit an unwavering friendship grounded by a deeply devoted love and affection with family, friends, and a fellowship of men.
What do you think? Does this definition and description begin to describe healthy masculine intimacy in a way that resonates with you? I hope so because this kind of healthy change is desperately needed and won’t be easy. Remember Thomas Jefferson’s challenge, “If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”
Let this “something you’ve never done” begin with you and me. Share this blog with trusted friends and family members; ask for their feedback on the subject. I welcome your comments; your insight may be helpful to other men. Look for more discussion on “Valiantly Masculinity” in upcoming blogs.
If today’s blog was encouraging to you, take sure you sign up to receive blogs every Tuesday and Thursday. TransformingFamilies.org was created to enable you to discover and develop authentic, healthy intimacy in all your relationships.
FYI: I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you would like to improve your relationships, or you want someone to talk to, e-mail me at ‘firstname.lastname@example.org’, and we’ll schedule a time to connect. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed man.