My friend TJ is an avionics technician. Although I fly quite frequently, I never knew what an avionics technician did until we met. I didn’t understand how vital his job was in making sure that planes reach their destinations safely. In short, he’s responsible to see that everything works properly and none of it interferes with other electronic devices on board an airplane. It’s is a good thing, because I’d like to get to the destination printed on my ticket – not somewhere else.
TJ also explained to me the “1 in 60 Rule.” Simply put, the rule is that for every 1° you are off course, you will end up being 1 mile off course after traveling 60 miles. Consequently, getting just 1° off course at the start will result in you becoming farther off course the longer you travel.
So if you’re on a flight from New York’s JFK Airport to Tokyo’s Narita International Airport which takes about 14 hours. If your plane takes off but is just 1º off course, after flying 6,755 miles, you’ll end up 112 miles away from Tokyo! This would put your plane either over the Sea of Japan or somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, running low on fuel. If that happened to you, I think a little panic would begin setting in. Because neither you nor I think your airplane makes a very good cruise ship.
All this drama caused by being off course just 1º.
Which may also explain why there is so much drama in your life or relationships. If from the start you off with just one unhealthy expectation, such as believing that it’s OK to use pornography. Your moral compass is one degree off course. As a result, this unhealthy expectation over time is going to seriously sabotage the intimacy within your relationship. It will create distance, causing feelings of loneliness, isolation, and frustration. Just to name a few.
However, there’s good news. It’s not too late to get back on course. Here’s how:
- Recognize your moral compass is broken, so stop using it.
- Work with a co-pilot, a trusted healthy friend, or coach to develop a new health moral compass.
- Determine your destination. Identify the health man you want/need to be. Remember healthy men develop healthy intimate relationships.
- Begin with consistent small changes, just 2º. Why 2º? One degree of change will put you parallel to your original course. 2º will, over time get you to your destination.
- Plan to be patient. Real change takes time. Remember, “What comes easy won’t last. What lasts won’t come easy.”
- Let your co-pilot or trusted friend teach you how to read the mile markers that signify you’re still on course. (I will cover more about mile markers in another blog).
That’s it, congratulations you’re on your way to being back on course. Or perhaps you’re on course for the first time in your life. Remember the key is working together with a trust healthy friend or coach. You weren’t supposed to do this alone. Using a trusted guide will enable your relationships to thrive
If today’s blog was encouraging to you, take sure you sign up to receive blogs every Tuesday and Thursday. TransformingFamilies.org was created to enable you to discover and develop authentic, healthy intimacy in all your relationships.
FYI: I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you would like to improve your relationships, or you want someone to talk to, e-mail me at ‘rturner@transformingfamilies.org’, and we’ll schedule a time to connect. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed man.
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