One of the hallmarks of self-mentored men is the constant comparison made in our own effort to discern and discover what means to be a man. Without any formal instruction by fathers or grandfathers, we’ve mentored ourselves into manhood by what we see in other men whom we perceived to be good, great or successful. Consequently, comparing our selves to other men becomes the preferred but flawed method of obtaining new information and ideas. Then we try our best to imitate what seems to work for him. Unfortunately, this does nothing to change a man’s heart. It only changes his behavior temporarily while he continues to try to figure out how to fix his flaws himself.
This kind of comparison ultimately leads to “clone-fading,” best seen when you make a copy of a document, then a copy of that copy, a copy of that copy, and a copy of that copy until the document you have is barely legible because it’s so faded the unique details are almost impossible to perceive. This constant comparing leaves us nothing like the men we were created to be, only a faded imitation of someone else.
Each one of us is uniquely created in the image of God, yet one of a kind. There has never been, nor will there ever be someone exactly like you, even if you’re a twin. In Genesis, we read: “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and overall the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God, he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:26-28 (NIV)
When we compare ourselves with other men, even successful men, we are copying from a copy, not the original, unique man God created us to be. Comparing makes man the measure of all things instead of God.
If we trust God, humble ourselves to his teaching, and trust his leading, each day, we become more like Jesus and more like the men we were created to be. Men who listen, learn, love, laugh, lead, and live like Christ. And nothing in this world compares to Christ.
If today’s blog was encouraging to you, take sure you sign up to receive blogs every Tuesday and Thursday. TransformingFamilies.org resources were created to enable you to discover and develop authentic, healthy intimacy in all your relationships.
FYI: I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you would like to improve your relationships, or you want someone to talk to, e-mail me at ‘email@example.com’, and we’ll schedule a time to connect. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed.