According to the ancient philosopher Aristotle, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” Aristotle based his conclusion on the observation that nature requires every space to be filled with something, even if that something is colorless, odorless air.
This vacuum of healthy masculine mentors or role models has given rise to mythical manhood stereotypes perpetuated by unhealthy men and the media. They pursue sexual gratification, or what I call “rogue intimacy,” as the highest form of relational intimacy.
What is rogue intimacy? Rogue intimacy is when a man believes that intimacy can only be experienced through sexual gratification. He uses how often he has sex as his primary measure of love and being loved. Ignorant of intimacy’s vast virtues, he continues to value sex above all else. His pursuit for intimacy has gone “Rogue.”
This unhealthy masculine culture has become a broken moral compass, glorifying his aggressive, competitive, and dominating nature. The very kind of men portrayed and popularized in our media only perpetuates the myth of the “self-made man.” This glorification compels men to lead lives of isolation, void of meaningful intimate relationships.
So how do we re-calibrate masculinity’s moral compass? How do we re-forge, restore, and redefine healthy masculine intimacy for this generation? Here are some of the steps recommended by many who are guiding men in developing a healthy moral compass:
- Start by challenging, re-forging, and transforming what men believe about themselves. “You will never change the way a man behaves until you change the way he sees himself.”
- Learning that life is not about competing with other men. There is a greater emphasis on a courageous commitment to caring, companionship, and commitment to being the healthiest man possible.
- Educate and encourage men to manage the media in their lives and be mindful of their efforts to influence.
- Educate, encourage and equip men to develop a healthy moral compass that teaches them to be virtuous, unselfish, humane, and healthy.
- Re-define healthy intimacy that enables men to forge healthy intimate relationships that last a lifetime
This proverb still holds a timeless truth: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Fortunately, some grassroots organizations and groups are reaching out to men and boys worldwide. Organizations like Strong Fathers, Strong Families, out of Texas, to No Regrets Men’s Ministry, in Wisconsin, K21 Men in Pennsylvania, and our work at Transforming Families are mentoring organizations teaching and encouraging men to develop a healthy moral compass. A moral compass guided by the belief that you can become a caring, courageous, creative, courteous man of character. Precisely what our world needs right now.
If today’s blog resonated with you, make sure you sign up to receive blogs posted on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Additional resources, like this blog, from TransformingFamilies.org, have been developed to guide you through the restoration process of developing your heart, mind, and strength, enabling you to become the man or woman God created you to be.
I also provide one-on-one coaching; if you want to improve your relationships, let’s connect through e-mail at ‘firstname.lastname@example.org’. My hope for you is that God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed son of God.
Rescuing the Rogue, “Rogue” is uniquely designed to transform relationships for men like you by eliminating relational barriers and intimacy ignorance that causes you to feel sexually dependent, isolated, or lonely. What you discover in Rogue will restore an authentic intimacy that will equip you to forge intimate relationships that last a lifetime.
For more information check out our website; https://transformingfamilies.org/rescuing-the-rogue/