Rudy’s Legacy: Faith, Family, and Friends

My foster father Rudy passed away four years ago.  His faithful influence dramatically changed my life path and influence the man I am today.  The love and gratitude I have for him is indescribable.  His wife, my foster mother Marian passed away years earlier.  Their lives and love made a difference in at least 14 foster children like me.  Our world desperately needs more men who lives make a difference like Rudy’s.

So how do you live a life that leaves a legacy?  First and foremost you live life according to your beliefs.  Healthy beliefs that encompass your faith, your family, and your friends.  Consistently and persistently you hold yourself accountable to being a man of your word, no matter what.

What does a life like that look like?  Here are some examples I’ve adapted from; “Men’s Fraternity: Quest for Authentic Manhood” of what it means to consistently and persistently live your life according to your beliefs.

1. A healthy man includes his wife in envisioning the future
2. A healthy man accepts spiritual responsibilities for his family.
3. A healthy man is willing to say; “I’m sorry” and “forgive me” to his family.
4. A healthy man discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly
5. A healthy man seeks the consultation of his wife for all major financial decisions
6. A healthy man follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.
7. A healthy man anticipates the different seasons his marriage will pass through.
8. A healthy man anticipates the different stages his children will pass through
9. A healthy man frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.
10. A healthy man provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses
11. A healthy man deals with distractions so he can talk with his wife and family.
12. A healthy man, whose faith is important, prays with his wife on a regular basis.
13. A healthy man initiates meaningful family traditions.
14. A healthy man plans fun outings for his family on a regular basis.
15. A healthy man takes time to give his children practical instruction about life, which in turn gives them confidence with their peers.
16. A healthy man manages the schedule of the home and anticipates any pressure points.
17. A healthy man keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.
18. A servant-leader makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will and arranged for a well-conceived plan for their children in case of death.
19. A healthy man lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.
20. A healthy man honors his wife often in public.
21. A healthy man explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.
22. A healthy man encourages his wife to grow as an individual.
23. A healthy man takes the lead in establishing with his wife sound, supportable family values in line with his beliefs.
24. A healthy man joins a small group of men who are dedicated to improving their skills as a man, husband and father.
25. A healthy man provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.

I know this seems like a lot, especially if you haven’t been living life according to your beliefs.  Perhaps you haven’t established any real firm beliefs about faith, family, or friends.  Now would be a good time to start.  I’ll coach you more about that in my next blog.

Every day Rudy consistently and persistently lived his life according to his beliefs.  What I saw him do influenced me more than anything he said.  But it was his day to day life that showed me that I could also trust his words.

I am a living legacy of Rudy’s life.  His influence continues to this day.  There world needs more men like Rudy.  That’s why it needs healthy men like you and me.  So let’s get on with it.

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I also provide one-on-one coaching; if you want to improve your relationships, let’s connect through e-mail at ‘rturner@transformingfamilies.org’.  My hope for you is that God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed child of God through these blogs, references, and resources.