“You’re pretty handy for a doctor,” my neighbor said as I finished installing his new bathroom exhaust fan. I understand his comment. We “learned” men, often gain a reputation for being book smart, but not very mechanically inclined. Fortunately, my father taught me to wield a hammer and wrench long before I entered college. Like most men, I enjoy the satisfaction of being able to do my own home maintenance and renovation if needed.
Unfortunately, all too often, men measure their self-worth based upon what they do, not who they are. Just look at the cover of the top 10 men’s magazines. Today, men are taught to measure their worth by their wallets, their work, or their wheels. It’s part of our “self-made man” culture.
As a result, we place a higher priority on making money for our family instead of making memories with our family.
Women and children, on the other hand, tend to be more relational. They value your presence, your time, your heart, your thoughts, and your affection more than your wallet, work, or wheels.
Functional
- Priority on work
- Fitting your family into your schedule
- Focus on what you own, waxing your wheels
- Making a name for yourself
- Building your bank account
- Relationships focused on your clients and colleagues
Relational
- Planning and protecting your family time
- Creating memorable moments
- Fostering a home where love and laughter lives
- Initiating new family traditions
- Deepening your relationship with family and friends
Consequently, this functional and relational conflict creates a tremendous amount of tension, frustration, and disappointment in many homes. However, when you compare functional to relational, which will leave the lasting legacy, you’ll be proud of?
Be mindful that it’s you that your family and friends value the most. Yes, providing is essential, but not as important as your presence. Your undivided attention is more valuable than gold. Share the wealth.
I hope today’s blog has encouraged you. Make sure you sign up to receive blogs posted every Tuesday and Thursday. TransformingFamilies.org resources are designed to guide you through the restoration process of developing your heart, mind, and strength, enabling you to become the man God created you to be.
I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you want to improve your relationships, let’s connect through e-mail at ‘rturner@transformingfamilies.org’. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to abundantly blessed.
Check out our latest study-guide.
Relationship Foundations:
A Young Adult’s Guide to Intimate Relationships
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