The Hearts of Men and Women Long for Authentic Intimacy

 “Everyone needs someone to make them feel like tomorrow is more than just another day.”

Men, like yourself, are seriously crippled when it comes to understanding, expressing, and enjoying authentic intimacy.  This is one of the major reasons pornography is so rampant. Men are searching for ways to fill intimacy voids in their life.  Voids like feelings of loneliness, isolation, and lack of any meaningful connection haunt their hearts.

A Man’s Heart Longs for Authentic Intimacy

When your life is void of authentic intimacy, it creates a sexual craving. This is a counterfeit intimacy. Resulting in a misdirected sex drive. This drive is insatiable. Instead of bringing fulfillment to your heart and mind, counterfeit intimacy just ends in just another orgasm. All of which are fleeting and very frustrating.

Authentic, healthy intimacy is meant to be experienced mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually, and physically in all your relationships. This is true for both men and women.

Without true intimacy, pursuing sexual gratification is like pouring water into a bucket with holes. It will never satisfy your heart.

Although you deeply desire healthy, intimate relationships. Just knowing this doesn’t make achieving them a quick and easy process. There are deep-rooted barriers that will hinder and undermine your effort to develop healthy intimacy.

It would take another book to address all the barriers. So let’s focus on the top five which include: your faults, your fears, your failures, your fixes, and your intimacy ignorance.

These barriers become like a castle, whose drawbridge is nailed closed. Not letting any of the garbage out or anything healthy or restorative in.

When the hallways of your heart are locked down, authentic intimacy is impossible. Therefore, you use your sex drive to pick up the tension. This, in turn, creates the drive to pursue intimacy through sex. That moment of orgasm may be the only feeling of intimacy you have known. Although you know it’s a counterfeit intimacy, it’s still very emotionally intoxicating. And good enough for now, right?

That’s not how intimacy is supposed to be. Authentic, healthy intimacy is far better. Healthy intimacy is a powerful combination of these virtues: acceptance, closeness, affection, privacy, and openness. Healthy intimacy enables you to control your sex drive, instead of it controlling you. A healthy man is a sexual man.

Authentic sexual intimacy needs to be connected to the heart. It needs to open doorways to express love. It needs to feel free to love and care.

If this is the level of authentic, healthy intimacy you’ve longed for, you’ve come to the right place. Each week, through our resources like this blog, I’ll share how to identify and destroy barriers to healthy intimacy.  While helping your discover and develop authentic healthy intimacy thereby enabling your relationships to thrive.


If today’s blog was encouraging to you, take sure you sign up to receive blogs every Tuesday and Thursday.    TransformingFamilies.org  was created to enable you to discover and develop authentic, healthy intimacy in all your relationships.

FYI: I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you would like to improve your relationships, or you want someone to talk to, e-mail me at ‘rturner@transformingfamilies.org’, and we’ll schedule a time to connect. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed man.


Relationship Resources available at TransformingFamilies.org

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