Guest Blog by Roxanne Maroney, Co-Author of Hope After Hurt
I recently watched a documentary on gold miners in early California. I was astonished how incredibly hard their lives were, often with little reward of a nugget found. I’m sure what kept them going was the possibility of striking it rich.
If I had been alive at that time, I’m sure I would not have joined the Gold Rush … I’m too much of a realist/pessimist. I was programmed as a child to look for worst-case scenarios and to avoid them at all costs. Over the years, however, I’ve worked to reprogram this by giving thanks, looking for the good in life, the treasures of good health, good friends, events and situations that are pleasurable and satisfying. In a sense, I was mining for gold, but only in one area. It is good and right to give thanks to God for His gifts of mercy, but what if there is gold to be found in impossibly hard or even irritating situations. There are some treasures we will only find when we dig deeply into our life, when we endure hardships and struggles, and ask ourselves what gold can be found there too.
I hate to admit it, but I found myself whining and complaining about our recent travels, the irritations of airlines that either do not fly on time or never take off leaving us stranded. Places we wanted to visit only to be bombarded by post-Covid crowds, the pressures of deadlines and appointments, the juggle of responsibilities and wanting to find time to decompress. Then I realized I was only focusing on what I did not want, failing to appreciate or recognize the blessing of each of those irritating things. Could there be gold there too? For a recovering pessimist it almost sounds like a ridiculous question. James 1 encourages us “to count it all joy my brethren, when you encounter various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance…”
I believe the testing James is speaking of here, is the willingness to believe God is working in the pleasant, as well as the not so pleasant. He loves me enough to allow situations that will help transform me, IF I am will willing to look for it. During our travels I was also able to see hidden blessings of conversations with strangers, beauty amidst the crowds, moments of quiet He gave me that I forgot about, and delays that could have been His means of protection. Through these and other recent experiences I’m learning to surrender my need for control (again), I’m learning to dig deeper when faced with irritation and disappointment, and realizing I can’t just thank God for the good. I join with James in saying “count it all joy…”.
“There’s gold in them there hills” but not without some work and the effort of digging.
Ask yourself, as will I, when faced with the struggle, weariness, toil, heartaches, frustrations, and irritations, what treasure may lay beneath each one of them.
I love the lyrics to Laura Story’s song Blessings
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things
Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe
Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?
Hope After Hurt
By Roxanne & Rob Maroney
Is your marriage a mess? Are you disconnected, struggling, or stuck even after counseling? Or are things between you and your mate too tidy or perfect but you’re wondering what happened to the adventure, the passion, and those feelings of your first dates?
If distance, distrust, and despair define your marriage and you just hurt too much to see any hope, read Hope after Hurt before you do anything else.
During their many years of teaching, coaching, and counseling, Roxanne and Rob have seen countless couples grasping for that last hope, perhaps like you, desperately trying not to give up.
But that’s only a small part of their story. In Hope after Hurt, Roxanne and Rob reveal not only how their marriage was rescued from becoming another casualty in the rising divorce rate but how they were set on the path to create something entirely new. They offer a transparent telling of how their early histories unknowingly haunted their marriage and their choices and how they dramatically changed their destructive path.
They open up about secrecy, lies, broken trust, loss of connection, and damaged intimacy. This is not just a story of two flawed people and their need for repair but also an honest account of more than forty years of healing using practical tools for greater connection and intimacy in marriage. Hope after Hurt offers hurting couples real-life examples and a roadmap to healthier relationships.
Connect with the authors Roxanne & Rob Maroney at EyeSight Coaching
I hope this resource will be an encouragement for you. TransformingFamilies.org resources are designed to guide you through the restoration process of developing your heart, mind, and strength, enabling you to become the man or woman God created you to be.
FYI: I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you want to improve your relationships, let’s connect through e-mail at ‘rturner@transformingfamilies.org’. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed beloved son or daughter.
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