Our Needs that Only God Can Meet

What needs do you and I have that only God can meet?  Think about it.  Are we expecting and trying to fulfill these needs through our spouse, children, parents, or friends?  If so, how is this affecting and influencing our relationships?

Over the years of coaching and counseling men, I’ve noticed something of great concern.  Many who consider themselves Christians have adopted an unhealthy belief about their relationships after marriage.  It is a harmful belief that isn’t biblically based and devastates many marriages today.  What concerns me, even more is that this unhealthy belief, which has become entrenched in our belief about marriage, is being passed on from generation to generation.

Let me explain.  A man and woman, who are followers of Christ, believe that through God’s guidance, they are to marry, which is all well and good, as it should be.  They gather with family and friends to celebrate this “Until death do we part” covenant before God.

However, there is an unspoken, assumed belief brought to the alter, a belief that has been passed down from family to family, Christian to Christian, that goes something like this:

We believe that God will meet all of our needs, based upon God’s word in verses like Philippians 4:19, “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”

However, we also wrongly believe that because God led us to be married, from now on, He will meet most of my needs for love, identity, and intimacy through my spouse.

The problem with this belief that God will now meet most of our needs through our spouse elevates our spouse to a god-like role and creates unhealthy expectations for our spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical intimacy.  Moreover, there is no biblical foundation for supporting this unhealthy belief.

God has already provided all of our needs as promised through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit as we abide in Him.  Here are his words of promise:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the Gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.  You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.  Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.  John 15: 1-4

The fruit is what we bear because of our relationship with God.  We do not produce the fruit, we’re mere branches, conduits of God’s grace, Christ is the vine, God is the Gardener, provider of all we need to bear His fruit, not our own.  His fruit is like none other; “But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such, there is no law.”  Galatians 5:22-23

Therefore, abiding in Christ, and trusting Him to provide all of our needs for love, intimacy, and identity, not anyone else, is essential to a healthy relationship with loved ones.  As we abide in Him and His word, the Holy Spirit abundantly blesses us with the fruit of the Spirit, which overflow from our hearts into the heart of our loved ones.  We aren’t responsible for producing the fruit; we’re simply bearers or conduits of the Holy Spirit’s work of grace in our lives whose abundance flows like streams of living water.

Here are some questions you might want to ponder and pray about:

  1. What are your needs that only God can provide? We’re identifying needs, not wants.
  2. What are your spouse, child, parent, or friend’s, needs that only God can provide?
  3. What needs are you expecting them to provide that only God can provide? If your expectations are unhealthy, how can you change this?

The word “abiding” is critical to changing this.  When we consistently, daily, spend time with God, in his word and his presence through prayer and worship, He will meet our deepest needs.  It’s a dependent relationship; He is the vine, and we’re the branches.  We cannot do any of this on our own.  Remember, Jesus stated, “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.  Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me”.

Remember, only God can meet all our needs through his transforming grace.

I hope today’s blog has encouraged you.  If so, make sure you sign up to receive blogs posted every Tuesday and Thursday. TransformingFamilies.org resources are designed to guide you through the restoration process of developing your heart, mind, and strength, enabling you to become the beloved son or daughter God created you to be.

I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you want to improve your relationships, let’s connect through e-mail at ‘rturner@transformingfamilies.org’.  My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed beloved son or daughter.

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