Is romantic something that you do or who you are? Yes!
Unfortunately, most men choose one over the other. Quite often, when men “try” to be romantic, it’s driven by the desire to be sexually intimate. However, trying to be something that isn’t a natural or normal part of who you are reveals your intent, which often isn’t well received. Tragically, in a society of “self-mentored men,” this type of romance is all too common.
Is it possible for a man to consistently be romantic and behave romantically without sex being the goal? Yes, you can, but it will require an overhaul of your heart and mind, removing outdated romantic notions and restoring God-given virtues.
Romantic men are, first and foremost, consistently loving. Romantic men are gentle, patient, and kindhearted. Romantic men are faithful, forever, for always, no matter what. Romantic men are approachable, slow to anger, and disciplined.
Be mindful of how many times I used the word “are” in the previous paragraph. Being a romantic man is who you are, not just how you behave on occasions. Being a genuinely romantic man means trusting God to teach you how to discover and develop the virtues needed and necessary to become a genuinely romantic man.
Where do we find these virtues? Look within your heart, for Galatians 5:22-23 lists the virtues placed in your heart by God through the Holy Spirit, also known as the Fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, meekness, self-control, and faithfulness.
Right now, you might be asking, aren’t these reserved for “spiritual” development? Would God want or allow me to develop them to become a genuinely romantic man? The answer is yes. God placed these virtues in us to enable us to become more like Him, and he is all about intimate relationships. Words like abiding in Him, relying upon him, trusting in him, walking with him, talking with him, singing with him, celebrating with him, following him, and waiting on him is focused on teaching us how to be intimately relational with him.
God doesn’t compartmentalize relationships; it’s all interconnected, spiritual, emotional, mental, social, physical, and romantic too. God loves romance, he’s the greatest romantic that ever existed, and he will show you how if you’re willing to trust him and put in the effort.
We men tend to compartmentalize our lives; God doesn’t. He wants all of our relationships to be the best they can, relevant, relational, real, and romantic. Perhaps it’s time to re-read God’s word without compartmentalizing the spiritual from the emotional, mental, social, and physical. Allow God to develop His virtues within you, transforming you into a truly consistently relational and romantic man, just like He created you to be.
If today’s blog was encouraging to you, take sure you sign up to receive blogs every week. TransformingFamilies.org was created to enable you to discover and develop authentic, healthy intimacy in all your relationships.
FYI: I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you would like to improve your relationships, or you want someone to talk to, e-mail me at ‘rturner@transformingfamilies.org’, and we’ll schedule a time to connect. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed child of God.
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