“You will never change the way a man behaves until you change the way he sees himself.” Robert King, Jr.
I’m often asked who or what made the difference in my life that enable me to break free from years of sexual dependency. There have been many men and women who’ve influenced my life through loving, teaching, guiding, and challenging me. It would take 100 blogs to share how they have impacted my life. But one thing they all have in common is that they are lifelong learners. Now, so am I.
The key wasn’t how great a book was, or how timely of a topic it was. The key was recognizing that if I truly wanted to break free, I had to be willing to learn. Not only that, but I had to be willing to be teachable all the time. Becoming a lifelong learner is a lifestyle that requires changing your belief system. Lifelong learners intentionally cultivate their curiosity. This goes way beyond healthy manhood or overcoming sexual addiction. They have a deep desire to learn as much as they can about everything: life, love, relationships, history, faith, art, etc. Over the years, I have come to love learning from successful, influential leaders – not only from what they said, but also from how they lived.
So, every three months, I’m going to share a few books that have and continue to influence my beliefs, my thoughts, feeling, and behavior. These were written by some of what I call my “mentor authors.” These are men and women whose words and wisdom have made and are making a significant difference in my life.
The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating
By Andy Stanley
Author Andy Stanley explore the challenges, assumptions, and land mines associated with dating in the twenty-first century. Best of all, he offers the most practical and uncensored advice you will ever hear on this topic. Not for the faint of heart, this book challenges singles to step up and set a new standard for this generation.
How We Love, Expanded Edition: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
By Milan & Kay Yerkovich
Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, Milan and Kay explore how your childhood created an “intimacy imprint” that affects your marriage today. Their stories and practical ideas help you: identify your personal love style, understand how your early life impacts you and your spouse, break free from painful patterns that keep you stuck, find healing for the source of conflict, not just the symptoms, creating the close, and nourishing relationship you dream about
When Lost Men Come Home – Not for Men Only
By David Zailer
Highly acclaimed by therapists, theologians, doctors, and everyday people, this book will inspire and guide you, helping you understand the process of recovery from addictions related to sex, and leading you to radical spiritual transformation for your life. This book holds the author’s story and other amazing examples of men and women who have successfully recovered, finding their lives more than restored.
What You Need to Know About Spiritual Warfare:12 Lessons That Can Change Your Life
By Max Anders
Is spiritual warfare real? This guide clearly outlines what the Bible teaches about spiritual warfare―no religious scare tactics, just non-sensational information about good angels, bad angels, Satan, and the One who holds the ultimate victory, God. Equip yourself with impenetrable spiritual armor to resist evil with this practical guide.
Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back
By Stephen Arterburn & Jason Martinkus
Few challenges in life are as difficult as regaining a wife’s trust—and few are as ultimately worthwhile. Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it’s possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before.
To be totally transparent, I have difficulty remember what I read. So, I use audio books instead. I can retain about 75% of what I hear, but only about 25% of what I read. Maybe, audio books would work better for you. Some of you may prefer e-books. The key is remaining teachable and developing a love for learning. Remember, you can’t solve new problems using old information.
I hope today’s blog has encouraged you. Make sure you sign up to receive blogs posted every Tuesday and Thursday. TransformingFamilies.org resources are designed to guide you through the restoration process of developing your heart, mind, and strength, enabling you to become the man God created you to be.
I also provide one-on-one coaching, if you want to improve your relationships, let’s connect through e-mail at ‘rturner@transformingfamilies.org’. My hope for you is that through these blogs, references, and resources, God will transform you from being bruised or broken to an abundantly blessed man.
Breaking the cycle was my first book when I entered recovery. I was anazed somebody had actually written what I had been thinking for so long